Looking for Somewhere to
Scurry
This is a gentle, melancholic folk song portraying a timid councillor who quietly follows the leader in exchange for her cabinet post. It tells the story of her one terrifying moment in the public spotlight and her sad realisation that she will be forced to leave her home ward to keep her seat. Listen on YouTubeRiley's Lamppost Lions
This is a rousing, flag-waving anthem dedicated to Riley's Lamppost Lions and their campaign to cover the borough in patriotic flags. While the Lions claim it's all about pride and history, the song argues they are just "wrapping your prejudice up in it all" and creating a distraction. Listen on YouTubeInterval Act:
Nailed to the Door
A frantic, comedic duet, this song sees the Leader and his Finance chief panicking over a damning audit report. They confess to all their failures before deciding that the only solution is to blame everyone else. Listen on YouTubeIt's Never Simple
Sung as a frustrated sea shanty, this song portrays the Cabinet Member for the Environment as a hapless captain who avoids all responsibility. His constant excuse for the weeds, litter, and floods is to pass the buck by claiming "it's never simple" or promising to "ask the Admiral." Listen on YouTubeSixty Five Million Reasons
An angry, driving punk-rock duet sung by two female voices, this song attacks the perceived incompetence of the Cabinet Member for Children. It blames her directly for the "sixty-five million reasons" (the massive schools budget deficit) why she is unfit for her role. Listen on YouTubeHeave Ho for the Bianco Hole
This is a weary sea shanty that tells the story of the Deputy Leader, the eternal "first mate" whose proudest achievements have all failed. It laments his disastrous 0% council tax freeze, which created the "Bianco Hole" in the finances, and the loss of all his beloved Green Flags. Listen on YouTubeWarrior for Hire
This upbeat, jaunty number introduces the council's financial hitman, Richard, the tough-as-nails "warrior for hire." In his performance he treats the failing leadership team like naughty children, laying out all their mistakes before delivering his damning final verdict on their budget. Listen on YouTubeThe PowerPoint Promise
Set to a pompous 80s synth-rock beat, this song is a tribute to the COO's love of corporate jargon. He proudly explains that his failing, never-ending IT projects are not a "shambles" but are, in fact, "agile" and part of an endless journey of transformation. Listen on YouTubeMartin’s Ledger Blues
This is a classic, slow-burning blues number that puts Finance chief Martin squarely in the spotlight. With the auditors from E.Y. closing in, he sings a mournful lament over a ledger that's "bleeding red" as the dreaded "Section 24" report comes knocking at his door. Listen on YouTubeInterval Act:
Summer roadtrip
to Section 114
An ironically cheerful summer holiday anthem about the council taking a fun road trip to bankruptcy, or "Section 114." The leader gleefully points out all the signs of financial collapse—rampant weeds, litter, and missing park awards—as fun features on their journey to the sun. Listen on YouTubeThe Perfect Distraction
This dark and cynical bagpipe power rock tune is a confession from the Council Leader himself. He reveals his secret strategy of using the asylum crisis and patriotic flags to create a "perfect distraction" from his own disastrous mismanagement. Listen on YouTubeHe'd prefer to build a Chippy
This is a folk-pop song about the tragicomic life of a former MP, a reluctant Cabinet Member who just wants to open a fish and chip shop. It tells of how his simple dream is constantly interrupted as he is forced to act as the "frontman for the flak" for the council leadership. Listen on YouTubeHillingdon - The Musical!
Meet the leaders of Hillingdon Council like never before. Featuring the Leader's 'Perfect Distraction,' the Deputy's 'Bianco Hole,' and the punk-rock fury of 'Sixty-Five Million Reasons,' this is the story of a council in crisis, set to music. The curtain rises on the financial fears of Martin, Richard, and Jane, followed by Susan's punk-rock fury and Jonathan's lament, before a sensational interval celebrating the magnificent Ruislip Monorail! The second half features sea shanties, rousing anthems, and a feel-good road trip to the glorious destination of "Section 114". The grand finale sees our corporate saviour Matthew offer slick solutions before Steve's simple dream is cut short by one final, ominous call from the boss.
This website, 'Hillingdon - The Musical!', is an independent work of parody, satire, and political commentary.
It is not produced by, affiliated with, endorsed by, or in any way officially connected with the London Borough of Hillingdon.
All names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this work are used for the purposes of satire and criticism. The views and opinions
expressed are exclusively those of the contributors and do not reflect the views of the London Borough of Hillingdon, its
administration, or any of its elected members.
Made with love in Northwood
by Becky & cats
at Sparkle & Script
Red Can Be Blue
A fast-paced and funny patter song that casts the Finance chief as a magician trying to balance his "magical ledger." He cynically lists all the disastrous financial holes on one side and his "quick-fix" solutions, like selling off property and charging for green waste, on the other. Listen on YouTubeInterval Act:
Let's build a Monorail!
A jolly, upbeat number full of wonderfully misguided optimism, this song is a tribute to the magnificent Ruislip Monorail. Inspired by The Simpsons, the council leadership cheerfully sells their impossible solution to the Lido's traffic chaos, promising a sleek, modern system that will solve all their problems. Listen on YouTube
For feedback please leave comments on YouTube.
For ticket enquiries contact the Box Office on show@hillingdonmusical.co.uk
For feedback please leave comments on YouTube.
For ticket enquiries contact the Box Office on show@hillingdonmusical.co.uk
For feedback please leave comments on YouTube.
For ticket enquiries contact the Box Office on show@hillingdonmusical.co.uk
For feedback please leave comments on YouTube.
For ticket enquiries contact the Box Office on show@hillingdonmusical.co.uk
Looking for Somewhere
to Scurry
This is a gentle, melancholic folk song portraying a timid councillor who quietly follows the leader in exchange for her cabinet post. It tells the story of her one terrifying moment in the public spotlight and her sad realisation that she will be forced to leave her home ward to keep her seat. Listen on YouTubeRiley's Lamppost Lions
This is a rousing, flag-waving anthem dedicated to Riley's Lamppost Lions and their campaign to cover the borough in patriotic flags. While the Lions claim it's all about pride and history, the song argues they are just "wrapping your prejudice up in it all" and creating a distraction. Listen on YouTubeInterval Act:
Nailed to the Door
A frantic, comedic duet, this song sees the Leader and his Finance chief panicking over a damning audit report. They confess to all their failures before deciding that the only solution is to blame everyone else. Listen on YouTubeIt's Never Simple
Sung as a frustrated sea shanty, this song portrays the Cabinet Member for the Environment as a hapless captain who avoids all responsibility. His constant excuse for the weeds, litter, and floods is to pass the buck by claiming "it's never simple" or promising to "ask the Admiral." Listen on YouTubeSixty Five Million
Reasons
An angry, driving punk-rock duet sung by two female voices, this song attacks the perceived incompetence of the Cabinet Member for Children. It blames her directly for the "sixty-five million reasons" (the massive schools budget deficit) why she is unfit for her role. Listen on YouTubeHeave Ho for the Bianco
Hole
This is a weary sea shanty that tells the story of the Deputy Leader, the eternal "first mate" whose proudest achievements have all failed. It laments his disastrous 0% council tax freeze, which created the "Bianco Hole" in the finances, and the loss of all his beloved Green Flags. Listen on YouTubeWarrior for Hire
This upbeat, jaunty number introduces the council's financial hitman, Richard, the tough-as-nails "warrior for hire." In his performance he treats the failing leadership team like naughty children, laying out all their mistakes before delivering his damning final verdict on their budget. Listen on YouTubeThe PowerPoint Promise
Set to a pompous 80s synth-rock beat, this song is a tribute to the COO's love of corporate jargon. He proudly explains that his failing, never-ending IT projects are not a "shambles" but are, in fact, "agile" and part of an endless journey of transformation. Listen on YouTubeMartin’s Ledger Blues
This is a classic, slow-burning blues number that puts Finance chief Martin squarely in the spotlight. With the auditors from E.Y. closing in, he sings a mournful lament over a ledger that's "bleeding red" as the dreaded "Section 24" report comes knocking at his door. Listen on YouTubeInterval Act:
Summer roadtrip
to Section 114
An ironically cheerful summer holiday anthem about the council taking a fun road trip to bankruptcy, or "Section 114." The leader gleefully points out all the signs of financial collapse—rampant weeds, litter, and missing park awards—as fun features on their journey to the sun. Listen on YouTubeThe Perfect Distraction
This dark and cynical bagpipe power rock tune is a confession from the Council Leader himself. He reveals his secret strategy of using the asylum crisis and patriotic flags to create a "perfect distraction" from his own disastrous mismanagement. Listen on YouTubeHe'd prefer to build a
Chippy
This is a folk-pop song about the tragicomic life of a former MP, a reluctant Cabinet Member who just wants to open a fish and chip shop. It tells of how his simple dream is constantly interrupted as he is forced to act as the "frontman for the flak" for the council leadership. Listen on YouTubeHillingdon - The Musical!
Meet the leaders of Hillingdon Council like never before. Featuring the Leader's 'Perfect Distraction,' the Deputy's 'Bianco Hole,' and the punk-rock fury of 'Sixty-Five Million Reasons,' this is the story of a council in crisis, set to music. The curtain rises on the financial fears of Martin, Richard, and Jane, followed by Susan's punk-rock fury and Jonathan's lament, before a sensational interval celebrating the magnificent Ruislip Monorail! The second half features sea shanties, rousing anthems, and a feel-good road trip to the glorious destination of "Section 114". The grand finale sees our corporate saviour Matthew offer slick solutions before Steve's simple dream is cut short by one final, ominous call from the boss.
This website, 'Hillingdon - The Musical!',
is an independent work of parody, satire,
and political commentary.
It is not produced by, affiliated with,
endorsed by, or in any way officially
connected with the London Borough of
Hillingdon.
All names, characters, and incidents
portrayed in this work are used for the
purposes of satire and criticism. The views
and opinions expressed are exclusively
those of the contributors and do not
reflect the views of the London Borough of
Hillingdon, its administration, or any of its
elected members.
Made with love in
Northwood
by Becky & cats
at Sparkle & Script
Red Can Be Blue
A fast-paced and funny patter song that casts the Finance chief as a magician trying to balance his "magical ledger." He cynically lists all the disastrous financial holes on one side and his "quick-fix" solutions, like selling off property and charging for green waste, on the other. Listen on YouTubeInterval Act:
Let's build a Monorail!
A jolly, upbeat number full of wonderfully misguided optimism, this song is a tribute to the magnificent Ruislip Monorail. Inspired by The Simpsons, the council leadership cheerfully sells their impossible solution to the Lido's traffic chaos, promising a sleek, modern system that will solve all their problems. Listen on YouTube
For feedback please leave comments on YouTube.
For ticket enquiries contact the Box Office on
show@hillingdonmusical.co.uk
For feedback please leave comments on YouTube.
For ticket enquiries contact the Box Office on
show@hillingdonmusical.co.uk
For feedback please leave comments on YouTube.
For ticket enquiries contact the Box Office on
show@hillingdonmusical.co.uk
For feedback please leave comments on YouTube.
For ticket enquiries contact the Box Office on
show@hillingdonmusical.co.uk